Eli Hodapp’s large collection of words.

If you’re unfamiliar with the downtown Naperville Metra station, there are two lanes. One for bus traffic, and another for regular old drop-off traffic.

Regardless of the fact that the bus lane is clearly marked with several signs, nearly every morning I am at the train station some idiot is holding up traffic in the bus lane. The bus drivers’ response to this is usually to lay on the horn until the SUV piloting house wife gets the drift that she’s not supposed to be there. (But more often than not the prolonged honking just adds to their confusion and instead of moving they look around to see who is getting honked at.)

This morning, half a dozen or so of Naperville’s finest were out writing tickets to everyone who even entered the bus lane.

I hope the courts force the morons receiving these tickets to attend a basic six week seminar on how to read  and/or be aware of your surroundings.

My favorite part of the paper always has been and probably always will be the police blotter. Here is what you missed this month by not reading the best page of the paper:

7/6/07 - Retail Theft: About 8:30 p.m., a man pumped 3.13 gallons of gasoline, valued at $10, into a tank of a tan-colored car at Gas City, 3004 Reflection Drive, and drove away from the station without paying for it.

7/6/07 - Defacement: Before 9:44 a.m., silver-colored marking pen and orange spray paint used to make graffiti on west side railing and west side of Main Street Bridge over DuPage River; total damage estimated at $10.

7/7/07 - Damage to Property: Between 10:30 p.m. July 6 and 5:45 a.m., red spray paint was used to deface a green plastic lawn ornament outside a home at 815 S. Loomis St.; damage estimated at $40; on previous night, peach-colored Garden Gazing Ball ornament, valued at $40, stolen from the front patio of the same home.

7/7/07 - Burglary to Vehicle: Between 2:30 and 7:30 a.m., Risk board game, valued at $15, stolen from unlocked car parked in driveway of home at 83 Foxcroft Road.

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How nice of them to follow up with me!

About a month ago someone decided my license plate was awesome enough that they wanted it for themselves. That’s cool, getting new ones only cost $20. I like supporting my local DMV, it’s a delightful place to spend your afternoon.

It’s too bad there are “no leads or suspects” in the case of the missing license plate. I bet they had detectives working around the clock too.